When you see me I'm having a good day. And thanks be to God I have plenty of great days.
But there are "those days" when you don't see me. When my intentions are good and plentiful yet my abilities are not. It is always a battle when "those days" hit. They generally come on without warning. Initially it is an overwhelming perception that the air around me has become heavy. Every little thing becomes monumental. Just the regular activities of daily living seem like overwhelming tasks that I am unable to accomplish.
The "old me" (before chronic disease became a part of my life) still sees myself as lazy when I don't follow through with my goals and plans. Especially if this inability includes simple things like getting dressed and getting the bed made and the laundry done. Or even doing simple hygiene things like washing my hair seems too labor intensive.
So I'm trying to get adjusted to the fact that I cannot count on myself to feel great from one day to the next. In fact I am having to realize that if the Lord Himself has allowed this affliction to continue, then HE will show Himself strong through me and obtain glory through it all.
Am I giving in when I realize I cannot do the things that I've committed to doing? When I stay in a horizontal position most of the day? When I let my husband or family down regarding plans we've made and I can no longer fulfill?
No- I've decided not. I am enduring this trial to become stronger in Jesus and to somehow allow Him to show His grace and mercy through me.
No I am not giving in. I am yielding and trusting and praying for a way that this will be used to minister compassion towards someone else who struggles with some of the same "can't depend on myself" issues.
A personal account of my dealings with progressive multiple sclerosis. And my battle with trigeminal neuralgia and the brain surgery that stopped the pain!
- Love Jesus! Mac Enthusiast! Love all things tech!Married to high school sweetheart for 42 years!Multiple Sclerosis tries to get me down.Previous Trigeminal Neuralgia sufferer-successful MVD in Nov of 2006.Mother of 2 grown sons. GrandMotherGardener, Twittering Lady.
Podcast lover. Previous fitness instructor.. previous Childbirth educator, previous school bus driver, previous racewalker.Lots of previous.. but unending future! Gifts: encouragement, helps, discernment. Lover of People.Recently my youngest son 33yrs old- (now 37) was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's disease- this is the toughest road yet. But by God's divine hand- we'll survive.____________________________I am exceedingly humbled that He knows me by name and actually died that I might live. And then He sought me out! This is joy unspeakable.___________________________Did I mention that I had an uncle named Steve ?