Yes a Thorn in my Flesh yet His grace is sufficient!

A personal account of my dealings with progressive multiple sclerosis. And my battle with trigeminal neuralgia and the brain surgery that stopped the pain!

Friday, August 31, 2012

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Hate Re-Runs

Another episode of Fatigue

My biggest struggle with Multiple Sclerosis. And I know I'm not alone because this is the #1 symptom reported by others with MS.

But when enduring another episode I want to cry out for the old me. The one who could wake up at 5:00 and get my house in order then go drive my school bus and then meet clients at the YMCA for personal training by 8:30 and keep that going till leaving the Y to come home and walk my dog about 1:00 before driving my afternoon bus route. Then I'd come home.. make dinner and either go out racewalking or go back to the YMCA to teach a spinning class. In the midst of that excitment I managed to enjoy fellowship with folks and keep my house in order. WOW

Now there are days that I am unable to even get up and dressed before noon.

I spend entirely too much time horizontally. Plenty of days I don't even take the anti fatigue meds prescribed for me because the fatigue is beyond pharmaceutical help and every day I go without meds causes my tolerance to be less so I'm able to benefit on the days that they will indeed help.

I think of seeing folks just yesterday and knowing that they saw me out and looking good. Yet they don't see me on "these days".

No doubt this is a depressing post. But sometimes it feels better just to share my burden, knowing that there are dear folks lifting me up in prayer.

I can close with hope. Because when I'm down and unable... He is always more than able.

Psalm 34:3
O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together.

Psalm 121:4
Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

Jeremiah 31:25
I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."

Friday, October 9, 2009

Weakness or Fearlessness?

You know some how we're conditioned that to use a crutch is a sign of weakness?

But Tommy has been encouraging me to use the cane more often as he knows I hesitate to do things with the family that will require much walking, especially in the dark.

In stores I always grab the cart because it gives me the security I desire along with something to lean on.

But yesterday when we went to the Fall Festival and I took the cane (it is a special cain as it was not only my Father's but his Father's before that)

I was amazed how much more secure I felt walking in the crowded street at the fall festival.

I've decided that a cane is something to be thankful for. Now maybe I'll have an artist friend (Robin.. Robin) paint something pretty on it because it is just plain wood.

So if you see me with a cane... just know that I am choosing to add stability and fearlessness to my life.

Maybe I'll encourage someone else that using a cane is not a bad thing but an added help... and maybe life can be enjoyed more w/o being worried about missing a step all the time.

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About Me

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Love Jesus! Mac Enthusiast! Love all things tech!

Married to high school sweetheart for 42 years! 
Multiple Sclerosis tries to get me down. 
Previous Trigeminal Neuralgia sufferer-successful MVD in Nov of 2006. 
Mother of 2 grown sons. GrandMother
Gardener, Twittering Lady.
Podcast lover. Previous fitness instructor.. previous Childbirth educator, previous school bus driver, previous racewalker.

Lots of previous.. but unending future! Gifts: encouragement, helps, discernment. Lover of People.

Recently my youngest son 33yrs old- (now 37)  was  diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's disease- this is the toughest road yet. But by God's divine hand- we'll survive. 


I am exceedingly humbled that He knows me by name and actually died that I might live. And then He sought me out! This is joy unspeakable.


Did I mention that I had an uncle named Steve ?