Keeps me Humble

Always was very thankful for good health. I love life and people. And most of all I have absolute confidence in and passion for my Lord Jesus.

There is this thorn in my flesh. Multiple Sclerosis! Although I've not been disabled much regarding mobility (only when I'm hot from either external heat or an internal rise in temperature), I do face "issues" from the MS that cause my good health to be like a yo-yo.

When I am feeling good I am great. And love every minute of it. Yet I can be shot down in a matter of hours.

There is "background noise" that I deal with daily. The fatigue, memory problems, urinary retention to name a few. I deal with these things with medications and regular self catheterizing.

There are things that aren't so common like episodes of migraines or spasticity.. also dealt with mostly pharmaceutically.

The urinary retention is a big problem for me. Because if my bladder isn't emptied all the way it is a breeding ground for bacteria. Yet self catheterizing no matter how clean the technique or sterile the equipment, catheterizing introduces bacteria into the urinary tract.

Thus I'm really prone to urinary tract infections. These come on so rapidly. I don't always know what I'm dealing with right away. Because my first symptoms are extreme weakness both physically and emotionally. I'll feel like I've suddenly gotten really lazy and so easily weepy. Then once the fever hits I become dizzy and even weaker from the rise in body temperature.

So this is very difficult for me. I just hate being on my back. And I hate to complain. I desire to be well and fully serving my God. And I know that He can get glory even though I have this thorn in my flesh. He shows His strength when I am weak.

This is likely a warfare with satan wanting me to be discouraged and unfruitful. And I admit I do get discouraged. But it is only because I become weary physically. I do not become weary spiritually. By His mercies that are new every morning and by HIs grace I am kept hopeful. I know the ultimate end. And in the mean time I know that there is healing in His wings. He is able.
And if I do not find healing while on this earth, I will still be fruitful. I can still encourage others. I can still fruitfully serve Him.

satan has no claims on me.... I'm under the shed blood of Jesus- redeemed and awaiting my reunion with Him.

My help comes from the hills from the Creator of heaven and earth.. who was and is and is to come.

Amen