"You are looking well"

It has never been my desire to place the spotlight on myself especially regarding problems of any kind.

My Father was one who never had anything except kind things to say to folks. So maybe I learned from him that to complain or present problems is not what pleases people and therefore is not acceptable.

Yet, since becoming a member of the family of God I have a Father who tells me to share my burdens with my brothers and sisters. To reach out for prayer. Knowing that He has instructed us to hold up one another in prayer and thereby minister encouragement to the body of Christ.

So I've wrestled regarding communicating personal needs while living with a progressive disease process.

I began answering positive saying "I'm great thank-you". Yet as difficult days became more common I would say " I'm very well today thank-you". When having to answer the "how are you" question during a rough time I am nearly torn in pieces when forced to say "not too well right now." Boy that hurts.

Ahhh but what hurts? The fact that I am not making you happy with my words? My words will never be what brings happiness or not to anyone. That is placing too much importance on myself.

Less of me... More of Jesus!

My heart is to encourage you. And if I respond with a thankful humble heart, giving all glory to God, good days or bad, I can let Him encourage you.

And to let you know that if you are seeing me- then I must be having a pretty good day. Because I'm not out there for you to see for the most part on the bad days.

So many of the symptoms of multiple sclerosis are really invisible to most folks anyway.

Yesterday for the sake of the blog I rounded as many of my prescribed medications as I could find and took a picture of them.

Not for sympathy but to validate the fact that even if I am blessed to "look well" I'm dealing with lots of symptoms that aren't visible or that require pharmaceuticals to keep under control. Thankfully I don't take all of these meds every day. But they've been prescribed for symptoms related to multiple sclerosis. (except for the natural hormone replacement I have compounded and take every day).

Here is the picture that speaks volumes for Granny... a woman who didn't take hardly a pill a decade ago: