Yo-Yo

Like a yo-yo, honestly that is how I feel about my days. One day I am out
and about accomplishing all the wonderful things that are on my agenda. The very next day I cannot get the strength to even be vertical.

I looked up how yo-yos work and found that there are three different kinds of energy needed to make the whole thing happen:

#1 Potential energy—because it's a certain height above the floor.

#2 Kinetic energy of movement—because it's moving up or down relative to the floor

#3 Kinetic energy of rotation—because it's spinning around.


And honestly my life consists of all three types. Yet on the "bad" days I'm
just not maintaining #1 which would compromise #2! Now #3 shouldn't ever be too much of a problem because I am nearly always spinning out of control!

Once I get this figured out I will be sure to share my findings.

Until then I'll just continue to hold tight and try to enjoy the ride!


"Although Jesus was the Son of God, he learned to be obedient through his sufferings." Hebrews 5:8

Giving in?

When you see me I'm having a good day. And thanks be to God I have plenty of great days.

But there are "those days" when you don't see me. When my intentions are good and plentiful yet my abilities are not. It is always a battle when "those days" hit. They generally come on without warning. Initially it is an overwhelming perception that the air around me has become heavy. Every little thing becomes monumental. Just the regular activities of daily living seem like overwhelming tasks that I am unable to accomplish.

The "old me" (before chronic disease became a part of my life) still sees myself as lazy when I don't follow through with my goals and plans. Especially if this inability includes simple things like getting dressed and getting the bed made and the laundry done. Or even doing simple hygiene things like washing my hair seems too labor intensive.

So I'm trying to get adjusted to the fact that I cannot count on myself to feel great from one day to the next. In fact I am having to realize that if the Lord Himself has allowed this affliction to continue, then HE will show Himself strong through me and obtain glory through it all.

Am I giving in when I realize I cannot do the things that I've committed to doing? When I stay in a horizontal position most of the day? When I let my husband or family down regarding plans we've made and I can no longer fulfill?

No- I've decided not. I am enduring this trial to become stronger in Jesus and to somehow allow Him to show His grace and mercy through me.

No I am not giving in. I am yielding and trusting and praying for a way that this will be used to minister compassion towards someone else who struggles with some of the same "can't depend on myself" issues.

About the MVD surgery I had in 06

This seemed to be a little easier than the surgery I had.. but it was the same one. (my anatomy was somehow different so it took 5 1/2 hrs) But it was successful for me. In fact I've seen Dr. Casey speak at the TNA national conference in Michigan. Dr. Peter Konrad at Vanderbilt did my surgery.