Just How it is

I'm Just sayn' Yes

I was paying attention in the 1980s and 1990s during the United States "War against drugs". The slogan of course was Just Say No

I saw first hand people who ruined their lives by becoming addicts. Both with rereational illegial drugs and prescription drugs.

I was addicted to cigarettes for decades. The adults I was exposed to as a child were all alcholics. Every special occasion was celebrated by having drinks. And every evening began with "Happy Hour". I had a few years of my adult life when I drank and did not have control over my drinking. Ultimately I was delivered from the desire to both drink and smoke.

But along comes multiple sclerosis and the multitude of symptoms that come along with it. (isn't that what MS stands for?)

I have been in a battle regarding the use of pharmaceuticals since my diagnosis in 2003. There are drugs for the pain associated, the stiffness that can make walking difficult, drugs to help with sleep and the all important drugs to fight the paralyzing fatigue.

I've posted a picture before of my load of medications. I've fought to only take drugs when I felt they were really needed.

However my quality of life has become more and more difficult without the help of these tools.

My Neurologist has often said "Why don't you take what actually makes your life better on a consistant basis?" It was because I did not want to be dependent upon pills to get through my days (and nights).

I am coming to the conclusion that I need these drugs. And to try to be the person who doesn't need medication to get through the day is literally a dead end street for me.

Today I didn't have the strength to get moving and ready to attend a Bible study that I was looking forward to. I'd been down with fever & fatigue for several days before finally enjoying a good day and a half.

Yet here I was again unable to accomplish those things required to be independent or even to do just what I was looking forward to.

There are several different drugs for MS fatigue. I find if I take any of them on a regular basis they don't help much. So I have to switch around from one type to another. Yet I still didn't take any on a regular basis.
I was only taking them when there were special things I needed to do.

At nearly eleven a.m. I took an amphetamine. By noon I was finally getting my shower and making the bed.

Ultimately I've gotten some things done around the house and feel some what accomplished.

Having the help of pharmaceutcals is a blessing. Who would want to spend days on end being "horizontal" when there is a way out? I'm no addict.. I have multiple sclerosis. So there! I've convinced myself.

And I've come to a new decision regarding taking drugs.. for me it's "Just say Yes!"