A personal account of my dealings with progressive multiple sclerosis. And my battle with trigeminal neuralgia and the brain surgery that stopped the pain!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Hate Re-Runs




Another episode of Fatigue

My biggest struggle with Multiple Sclerosis. And I know I'm not alone because this is the #1 symptom reported by others with MS.

But when enduring another episode I want to cry out for the old me. The one who could wake up at 5:00 and get my house in order then go drive my school bus and then meet clients at the YMCA for personal training by 8:30 and keep that going till leaving the Y to come home and walk my dog about 1:00 before driving my afternoon bus route. Then I'd come home.. make dinner and either go out racewalking or go back to the YMCA to teach a spinning class. In the midst of that excitment I managed to enjoy fellowship with folks and keep my house in order. WOW

Now there are days that I am unable to even get up and dressed before noon.

I spend entirely too much time horizontally. Plenty of days I don't even take the anti fatigue meds prescribed for me because the fatigue is beyond pharmaceutical help and every day I go without meds causes my tolerance to be less so I'm able to benefit on the days that they will indeed help.

I think of seeing folks just yesterday and knowing that they saw me out and looking good. Yet they don't see me on "these days".

No doubt this is a depressing post. But sometimes it feels better just to share my burden, knowing that there are dear folks lifting me up in prayer.

I can close with hope. Because when I'm down and unable... He is always more than able.

Psalm 34:3
O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together.

Psalm 121:4
Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

Jeremiah 31:25
I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."

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