A personal account of my dealings with progressive multiple sclerosis. And my battle with trigeminal neuralgia and the brain surgery that stopped the pain!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Thank You for my Husband



I fell in love with this man when I was in 8th grade. Really! He was from a close knit family who literally lived on the other side of the rail road tracks. My parents weren't happy. #1 because I was too young for love and #2 because of his social economic class-- concerned I could never be happy without a fellow who would have lots of money to care for me.

He left town the day he turned 16 to join the Merchant Marines. My heart was broken. But while he was away I did all l could to help him remember me. I bought his high school pictures and sent them to his Mother. (always good to get on the Mom's good side)

I wrote him letters regularly. (not even realizing that he was pretty much unable to read.. a fellow friend in the Merchant Marines seamanship school read my letters to Tommy and wrote letters back to me that Tommy copied and sent)

Tommy Merchant Marine73

Ultimately he returned home before shipping out. I will always be grateful for an older man (maybe he was 30 LOL) who told Tommy that this was not the life he should peruse. He told Tommy that if there was a girl back home who loved him to return and make the most of it.

I was a sophomore in high school when Tommy came back. And he suddenly looked so mature and grown up.

Young Love

We ran away to be married on Easter Sunday of 1973. Of course no judge in his right mind would marry us. We ended up hiding out in a cave under High Knob at Shawnee National Forest. We slept in his car at night and finally had to sell his spare tire to get $5.00 for gas and the oil that his car seemed to use more of than gas.

When we ran completely out of money... (about 3 weeks) we returned to our home town. I called my parents and boy was I in trouble. They said they would not sign for us to be married ever. And my Mother being the director of Planned Parenthood at the time only wanted to get me on the birth control pill.

Tommy found a job at a tire shop. I slept in his car (hiding) in the tire shop parking lot during his working hours. Sometimes I ventured to a "head shop" called Folz City in downtown Evansville. (walking.. remember I was too young to drive)

Tommy's boss gave him a couple weeks pay in advance. So we found an apartment. I remember well it was $25.00 per week yet we paid $30.00 for 5 weeks to get our required deposit paid for.

Once settled (it was a furnished apt) I wanted to get back to my high school. I walked there one day and they told me that unless I was in school the following week they would arrest my parents for child neglect. I had to be in school either living at home with my legal guardians or married.

So I called my Mother and with the legal action coming down on them and their seeing how determined I was they decided to go and sign a waver for us to be married.

We had a wedding at Tommy's Grand Mother's house. I have no pictures as the only one who brought a camera forgot her film!!

My parents showed up quite upset.

Long story short.. our love has continued and grown. My parents ultimately feel in love with Tommy as well. After three years we had our first son and just a year later our second.

Tommy has been my best friend and closest family for my entire life.

I do not regret our early marriage. Because had I waited he may have not been available.

And now 35 years later.. and dealing with chronic illness, I've found this dear man to be so selfless and giving that I am just falling in love with him more.

When I was twenty one years old I got saved after reading a book titled "666" by Salem Kirban. It wasn't for a couple of decades that Tommy also was born again. And it is just recently that he is beginning to desire even a closer walk with Jesus.

"The rich and poor meet together; the Lord is the maker of them all" Proverbs 22:2

"Let thy mercies come unto me, O Lord, even thy salvation, according to thy word." Psalm 119:41

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." Romans 15:13

Monday, September 28, 2009

Friday, September 11, 2009

I'm Just sayn' Yes


I was paying attention in the 1980s and 1990s during the United States "War against drugs". The slogan of course was Just Say No

I saw first hand people who ruined their lives by becoming addicts. Both with rereational illegial drugs and prescription drugs.

I was addicted to cigarettes for decades. The adults I was exposed to as a child were all alcholics. Every special occasion was celebrated by having drinks. And every evening began with "Happy Hour". I had a few years of my adult life when I drank and did not have control over my drinking. Ultimately I was delivered from the desire to both drink and smoke.

But along comes multiple sclerosis and the multitude of symptoms that come along with it. (isn't that what MS stands for?)

I have been in a battle regarding the use of pharmaceuticals since my diagnosis in 2003. There are drugs for the pain associated, the stiffness that can make walking difficult, drugs to help with sleep and the all important drugs to fight the paralyzing fatigue.

I've posted a picture before of my load of medications. I've fought to only take drugs when I felt they were really needed.

However my quality of life has become more and more difficult without the help of these tools.

My Neurologist has often said "Why don't you take what actually makes your life better on a consistant basis?" It was because I did not want to be dependent upon pills to get through my days (and nights).

I am coming to the conclusion that I need these drugs. And to try to be the person who doesn't need medication to get through the day is literally a dead end street for me.

Today I didn't have the strength to get moving and ready to attend a Bible study that I was looking forward to. I'd been down with fever & fatigue for several days before finally enjoying a good day and a half.

Yet here I was again unable to accomplish those things required to be independent or even to do just what I was looking forward to.

There are several different drugs for MS fatigue. I find if I take any of them on a regular basis they don't help much. So I have to switch around from one type to another. Yet I still didn't take any on a regular basis.
I was only taking them when there were special things I needed to do.

At nearly eleven a.m. I took an amphetamine. By noon I was finally getting my shower and making the bed.

Ultimately I've gotten some things done around the house and feel some what accomplished.

Having the help of pharmaceutcals is a blessing. Who would want to spend days on end being "horizontal" when there is a way out? I'm no addict.. I have multiple sclerosis. So there! I've convinced myself.

And I've come to a new decision regarding taking drugs.. for me it's "Just say Yes!"

Blog Archive